TO ALL FEMINISTS IN THE C.I.A.: THE ELECTED POLITICIAN, A VETERAN FROM NPR, AND ON EHARMONY.COM IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS:

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2013/04/16/177421655/npr-org-hacked-syrian-electronic-army-takes-credit

NOW, YOU CAN APPRECIATE HOW DATING IS TRULY DANGEROUS.

http://youtu.be/rtOvBOTyX00

I GREW UP WORSHIPPING THE WASHINGTON POST AND USATODAY NEWSPAPERS, WHICH I READ EVERYDAY, THROUGH MY ADOLESCENCE. HOW CAN WE ALLOW THE NAZI-ISIS TRUMP MEDIA TO MIND RAPE US WITH THEIR SYRIAN AND RUSSIAN HACKERS?

REMEMBER HOW I WOULD TRY TO WEAR CONVERSE SNEAKERS WITH EVERYTHING IN THE U.S. NAVY? NOW, I CAN VISUALIZE MYSELF RUNNING AWAY FROM EVERY MARITAL RAPIST WEDDING CEREMONY, IN MY CONVERSE SNEAKERS.

ASK MY "MAMAS," THE U.S. NAVY SEALS TO CALL ZEM BACK AND RELAY ZEE FOLLOWING MESSAGE:

"NO ZANKS, I'D RATHER BE A CRACK WHORE IN BANGKOK, THAILAND ZAN DATE YOU, NAZI REPUBLICANS."