TO ALL NRA HUNTERS IN DAM NECK, VIRGINIA:

PLEASE ORGANIZE SHARK HUNTING EXPEDITIONS IN HAWAII IMMEDIATELY. WHEREVER THERE ARE TOURISTS, POST SHARK MONITORING SUBMARINES AND DISCREETLY, SAFELY, AND HUMANELY ERADICATE ALL OF THEM TO PROTECT THE ENLISTED. THIS WILL BOOST TOURISM TO HAWAII. GATHER TEDDY BEAR CAKEMAKER, JEFF, AND ALL U.S. NAVY SONAR ENGINEERS TO HELP PRECISELY LOCATE AND MAP THESE SHARK FEEDING FRENZIES.