TO ALL HOMELAND SECURITY: BIN LADEN-RIVERA-SCARPONE IS DEAD:

http://www.fox32chicago.com/news/crime/1-killed-5-wounded-in-shooting-across-chicago-since-friday-evening

https://www.fastpeoplesearch.com/address/21-hubbard-rd_wilton-ct-06897

https://www.fastpeoplesearch.com/address/8236-forest-lake-dr_conway-sc-29526

TOP SECRET:

SOMETIMES, RADIOMON WILL FALL ASLEEP, TWITCHING AND MUTTERING, "SON OF A BITCH. I'LL PUNCH HIM."